Ask Dr. Ilenya about Freedom from Upset

Subscriber Question #3
Dear Dr. Ilenya,
I'm getting upset when do not go as per my expectation.
I want to have freedom from upset. What to do?
Dr. Mahesh of Surat, India

Dear Dr. Mahesh,
You're describing a major challenge related to being human.
The classic spiritual answer is "to have no expectations."

I find it more practical to adopt the viewpoint of a Neutral
Loving Observer, which I write about in some detail in my
e-book, The Power of Personal Peace.

As the Neutral Loving Observer, you are still active and
engaged in life on all levels. But you observe the action
without judging it. That's the neutrality.

Example: I heartily dislike automated phone answering
systems where I have to enter numbers and be transferred
from one holding station to another before talking to a
person. I get quite annoyed while on hold for fifteen minutes.
If I will remember to observe myself, it's as if I step to a
higher level, and I can say, "Oh, there I go again, getting
upset over something I really can't control."

Just acknowledging my process helps to diffuse my frustration.
I take a deep breath and move back to patience.

The "loving" part of Neutral Loving Observer is a reminder
to love yourself in your human condition, upsets and all.

I think that as long as we are breathing, we are meant to be
learning and growing. If you will neutrally look at the
upsetting situations as opportunities to uplift yourself, and
lovingly accept yourself and your human process, you will
probably find it easier to stay peaceful. At least, you should
be able to return to your peaceful state more quickly after
the upset.

Blessings of Light and Loving,
Dr. Ilenya