Answering Your Questions
For the next few posts, I'll be answering some letters with educational information, plus my opinions and suggestions.   My information is meant to inform, not to diagnose or treat in any way!  Please remember, as always, to use common sense and to check with your doctor if medical or psychiatric issues are involved.  


Why Do I Only Remember Bad Dreams?
Someone recently wrote to me with this question.   "For instance," she said, "I had a dream that the world was ending and I couldn't find my son.  I could only remember the negative parts."

In general, only remembering the negative aspects of dreams could happen because those are the emotionally compelling parts of the dream.  They get your attention!  They are memorable even when you are groggy and just waking up!

I typically work with dreams either by viewing them as extensions of waking life, or by looking at each element of the dream as representing some part of myself.  Using the extensions of waking life approach,  you could look at the dream about the world ending by checking your ongoing daily life.  Are there areas that are changing, coming to an end?  Is some part of your personal world being transformed with an ending and new beginning?  Have there been issues of feeling disconnected with your son in real life?  Has he recently been "lost" even if only playing hide and seek?  Such dream fragments can be confusing and disturbing until you connect them with your daily reality and begin to understand the bigger picture.  What is your subconscious trying to reflect to you with these messages?

Looking at each element of the dream as a part of yourself is fairly similar in this case.  If it were my dream . . . .  If the world is a part of me, it is vast and complex.  Perhaps it represents my entire consciousness, a huge and rich playground.  But if it is ending, how can I relate to that?  In what way is my consciousness coming to  an end point?  And end to old ways of thinking and being?  A major shift underway?  Letting go of old ways to make room for new?  My son represents some part of me as well  -- childlike innocence and playfulness come to mind.  Exploring, curiosity, discovery.  If this were my dream, it might indicate my worries about losing my innocence, playfulness, sense of exploring and discovering.  Maybe I've become too serious and focused on work and responsibilities.

I hope these reflections get you brainstorming about the meanings of your dreams, whether positive or negative!

Nightmares and Sleeping on the Back
"Is it true that you only have nightmares when sleeping on your back?" 

Not at all.  You can have nightmares sleeping in any position.  A few people report having nightmares more often when sleeping on their backs.  One possible cause might be sleep apnea, when the person stops breathing for many seconds and literally wakes him or herself up again to start breathing again.  The theory is that the person has a nightmare to help wake up in order to breathe.  If you snore a lot, or if your spouse or partner says you sometimes stop breathing, you might want to ask your doctor for a referral to a sleep clinic and get checked for sleep apnea.


My personal theory (not research based) is that sleeping on our backs, belly up, we might unconsciously feel more vulnerable and therefore have more nightmares.  Since almost everyone moves around, changing positions every twenty minutes or so in sleep, the only way to test nightmares and back sleeping would be to write down the nightmare and your sleeping position each and every time it happens, probably for several months.  Who is awake enough after a nightmare to do this? 


Feeling Awake but Can't Move or Open Eyes
"What does it mean when I am asleep but it feels like I am awake because I can hear what's going on around me but I can't open my eyes or move until someone calls my name and shakes me?"


You are describing the weird-feeling but very common phenomenon of  "sleep paralysis."  During Rapid Eye Movement (REM) sleep, which happens when you are dreaming, several times a night, your body muscles are paralyzed.  The theory is that this stops us from thrashing around and acting out our dreams and possibly hurting ourselves or others.  You are partly awake early in the morning, yet still in the shallow REM sleep state with your muscles locked in place.  If you just think about it for a minute, and let your body and brain catch up with your awake mind, you'll be able to move normally.  


People who do thrash around and act out their dreams are often diagnosed with REM sleep disorder.