New Habits for Success
Hello!
Traveling is fun and it sure punched a hole in my blogging routine.
So this is time for me to comment on the process of creating new habits. My philosophy is to take small steps consistently. When you "fall out of stepping," you can simply start over, wherever you find yourself. So I'm starting over with blogging despite the almost three week gap.
If you want to create a new habit here are some simple steps to take:
1. Identify what you want to change.
2. Get an idea of what the new behavior would look like and feel like for you. What would you be telling yourself about your new behavior? What would others be saying or doing in response to your new approach?
3. Reflect on why you want this change. If you are not clear, you may not get very far. If you are trying to change because someone else is pressuring you, you may not get very far. So really consider if this is something you want for yourself.
4. If this change is not what you want for yourself, consider whether there is something else you want to work on that is truly your own heartfelt desire. Let the rest of these instructions apply to your deeper desire.
5. Look carefully at the behavior pattern you're trying to change. What triggers the old behavior? What are the clues that you are about to slide into the old behavior? Maybe it is being with a certain person or group of people. Maybe it is a certain interaction situation that leads to your feeling a certain way (stressed, bored, angry, frustrated, sad and hopeless, etc.). Maybe it is a specific sight, sound or smell (a tempting food smell, for instance.)
6. What could you do differently to interrupt the old automatic, undesirable habit pattern? If you want to eliminate debt and cut out frivolous credit card spending, can you freeze your card to make it hard to get? If you're working to lose weight, how can you make it difficult to get the tempting goodies that have been your downfall in the past?
If you lose your temper in certain situations, what can you do differently? Can you avoid the person or situation? Can you excuse yourself and walk away the minute you feel the anger beginning? Can you do some journal writing to delve into the reasons you feel such quick anger, and with the new awareness, have more choices and options for your behavior?
Now, you've identified what you want to change and some possible ways to stop engaging in the old undesirable behavior, you're ready to focus on your new habit pattern.
7. I recommend approaching your process with a lot of loving and kindness for yourself. Talk caringly and compassionately to yourself, as you might to a cherished small child. See yourself through eyes of loving. Changing a habit doesn't come easily for most of us. Will power has often fallen short of helping you obtain your goal. So try love power, compassion power to create your success this time.
8. Aim for small steps and congratulate yourself each time you are close to the mark as well as positive scores! In other words, let's say your you want to create a habit of going to the gym three times a week. If you put on your gym shoes and get out the door, but realize you have a conflict today, you still get some credit for starting out in your desired direction! That counts as a success when you are taking tiny steps. Then lovingly talk to yourself to clear the calendar at gym time and see if you can all the way there the next day!
9. Use your avoidance strategy to stay out of the old behavior. Keep your eyes on your goal with the new behavior. Put up reminders, such as a note by your bed, or on the refrigerator or bathroom mirror, or on the steering wheel.
10. Give yourself small rewards for small successes. I like tiny stickers on my calendar, or checking off items on a tracking list. You might like to put a dollar in a jar each time you do your new habit, and let it build up for a special treat in a few weeks.
11. Aim for at least 33 days of consistent application with your new habit. Different groups suggest different time frames, but I've found that doing a new habit for 33 days is about the right length of time to get it ingrained in you consciousness. If you fall of track for a few days, just start your count over again when you get back on track. But do get back on track, as lovingly as you can.
12. If you repeatedly fall off track, look for subconscious or unconscious patterns that push you into the undesired behavior. You might want to get short term help from a professional coach or counselor to help you hold yourself accountable and to deal with hidden button pushers.
Happy transformations,
Dr. Ilenya
Dr. Ilenya Marrin, DSS, MS, NCC
The Personal Peace Coach
Author of ebooks The Power of Personal Peace:
Reducing Stress by Loving Yourself from the Inside Out
and A Way of Loving Intention
http://www.powerofpersonalpeace.com
http://www.powerofpersonalpeace.com/info.html
802-658-2921
Traveling is fun and it sure punched a hole in my blogging routine.
So this is time for me to comment on the process of creating new habits. My philosophy is to take small steps consistently. When you "fall out of stepping," you can simply start over, wherever you find yourself. So I'm starting over with blogging despite the almost three week gap.
If you want to create a new habit here are some simple steps to take:
1. Identify what you want to change.
2. Get an idea of what the new behavior would look like and feel like for you. What would you be telling yourself about your new behavior? What would others be saying or doing in response to your new approach?
3. Reflect on why you want this change. If you are not clear, you may not get very far. If you are trying to change because someone else is pressuring you, you may not get very far. So really consider if this is something you want for yourself.
4. If this change is not what you want for yourself, consider whether there is something else you want to work on that is truly your own heartfelt desire. Let the rest of these instructions apply to your deeper desire.
5. Look carefully at the behavior pattern you're trying to change. What triggers the old behavior? What are the clues that you are about to slide into the old behavior? Maybe it is being with a certain person or group of people. Maybe it is a certain interaction situation that leads to your feeling a certain way (stressed, bored, angry, frustrated, sad and hopeless, etc.). Maybe it is a specific sight, sound or smell (a tempting food smell, for instance.)
6. What could you do differently to interrupt the old automatic, undesirable habit pattern? If you want to eliminate debt and cut out frivolous credit card spending, can you freeze your card to make it hard to get? If you're working to lose weight, how can you make it difficult to get the tempting goodies that have been your downfall in the past?
If you lose your temper in certain situations, what can you do differently? Can you avoid the person or situation? Can you excuse yourself and walk away the minute you feel the anger beginning? Can you do some journal writing to delve into the reasons you feel such quick anger, and with the new awareness, have more choices and options for your behavior?
Now, you've identified what you want to change and some possible ways to stop engaging in the old undesirable behavior, you're ready to focus on your new habit pattern.
7. I recommend approaching your process with a lot of loving and kindness for yourself. Talk caringly and compassionately to yourself, as you might to a cherished small child. See yourself through eyes of loving. Changing a habit doesn't come easily for most of us. Will power has often fallen short of helping you obtain your goal. So try love power, compassion power to create your success this time.
8. Aim for small steps and congratulate yourself each time you are close to the mark as well as positive scores! In other words, let's say your you want to create a habit of going to the gym three times a week. If you put on your gym shoes and get out the door, but realize you have a conflict today, you still get some credit for starting out in your desired direction! That counts as a success when you are taking tiny steps. Then lovingly talk to yourself to clear the calendar at gym time and see if you can all the way there the next day!
9. Use your avoidance strategy to stay out of the old behavior. Keep your eyes on your goal with the new behavior. Put up reminders, such as a note by your bed, or on the refrigerator or bathroom mirror, or on the steering wheel.
10. Give yourself small rewards for small successes. I like tiny stickers on my calendar, or checking off items on a tracking list. You might like to put a dollar in a jar each time you do your new habit, and let it build up for a special treat in a few weeks.
11. Aim for at least 33 days of consistent application with your new habit. Different groups suggest different time frames, but I've found that doing a new habit for 33 days is about the right length of time to get it ingrained in you consciousness. If you fall of track for a few days, just start your count over again when you get back on track. But do get back on track, as lovingly as you can.
12. If you repeatedly fall off track, look for subconscious or unconscious patterns that push you into the undesired behavior. You might want to get short term help from a professional coach or counselor to help you hold yourself accountable and to deal with hidden button pushers.
Happy transformations,
Dr. Ilenya
Dr. Ilenya Marrin, DSS, MS, NCC
The Personal Peace Coach
Author of ebooks The Power of Personal Peace:
Reducing Stress by Loving Yourself from the Inside Out
and A Way of Loving Intention
http://www.powerofpersonalpeace.com
http://www.powerofpersonalpeace.com/info.html
802-658-2921
posted by Ilenya Marrin, DSS @ 2:55 PM
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