Stress Relief Seminars and Success

This past week I've been focused on preparing for my first teleseminars, set for March 29th and 30th. I'm pretty excited! And there are endless details to be arranged, not to mention that non-techie me is learning basics of web design in the midst of all this!

I'm excited about my teleseminar topic -- "7 Whopper Stress Culprits and How to Avoid Them." I have some simple strategies to share that will help people see stressors in new ways and get unstuck from old patterns. Listeners will recognize how they can take control of their inner responses to cut way down on stress.

To find out more about my teleseminars, go to my website http://powerofpersonalpeace.com and sign up for my fre.e newsletter, 17 Simple Stress Solutions. Then you'll get notification of my upcoming events.

How does this relate to Loving Your Success?

My core of excellence is helping you love yourself into success, however you spell success. This could relate to relationships, career, health, creativity, personal peace or a number of other areas where you have dreams waiting to be fulfilled.

I'm a living example! Last August, I knew zip about internet marketing. I barely knew such a thing existed. I'd been working diligently for over a year to write a simple little book called A Way of Loving Intention.

Then I learned about Ellen Violette, The Ebook Coach, and took her 3-Day Quick Start Ebook Authoring class. Yes, in three days I wrote The Power of Personal Peace: Reducing Stress by Loving Yourself from the Inside Out. The material just came pouring out of me! Since then, I've built the foundation for a wonderful business. You can find out more about her work by clicking here http://www.marketerschoice.com/app/aftrack.asp?afid=295952. (I haven't yet learned for sure how to insert a hyperlink, so you may need to paste this into your browser to get there.)

Of course I get nervous at times, (preparation energy!!) and there have been many frustrations to overcome with so very much to learn. But overall, I've been happier than ever. This work allows me to combine several marvelous talents and express then in a terrific combination. I can share my hard-won expertise and wisdom, help people, be creative, and make good money! I'm jazzed! And I can use the whole package as a platform for my own continuing journey of self-discovery and learning.

What could be any better?

Major keys for my success have been to:
Stay in my personal peace as best I can. (Not always, by any means!)
Hold a loving focus for myself in all that I do and when I forget, come back to it asap!
Develop a clear vision of what I want. (This will be the subject of another post!)
Keep taking small steps day after day. (A really HUGE key for success!)
Acknowledge my small successes each day.
When I mess up or get discouraged, pick myself up and get going again.
Ask for help when I need it.
Express my gratitude to myself and the Divine for my opportunities, my growth and my success.

See what you can use from these ideas to start taking small steps to fulfilling your dreams.

Peace, Loving and Success,
Dr. Ilenya

Ilenya Marrin, DSS
Author of ebooks The Power of Personal Peace:
Reducing Stress by Loving Yourself from the Inside Out
And
A Way of Loving Intention
ilenya@powerofpersonalpeace.com
http://www.powerofpersonalpeace.com
802-658-2921

Stress Relief Seminars and Success

Inner Watchfulness for Success with Loving Integrity

Loving yourself into success requires a high level of self awareness and a willingness to watch and pay attention to your inner signals.

We know, we truly know in some deep place of beingness, what is best for us. Too often, we just don't listen. Yesterday, I moved into action on a little project because it seemed like a good idea. "In my head" it was a great idea. I did have a subtle gnawing of doubt. But I went ahead and executed my little plan. I "over-rode" that tiny feeling of something being off.

Periodically today, a thought of something being off would brush me like a feather. I didn't want to pay attention. This evening, my awareness of this "off" sensation became quite strong, until I turned within to reflect from a deep place in my heart. I had to acknowledge that I made an error in not listening to my inner feedback yesterday that said something is off.

It does get very subtle.

Now, I'm working with myself inwardly to acknowledge that I wish I'd handled things differently. And I am forgiving myself for my mistake -- and looking carefully to see how I can be more watchful in the future. How can I pay better attention and honor the feedback from my emotions, without being run by my emotions?

Overall, my goal is to lovingly correct this error, lovingly forgive myself, and lovingly do better next time.

The funny thing is, the more I think I know what I'm doing, the more I get challenged with situations that show me my next steps in what I still need to learn! For me, the outer success needs to be balanced with my inner success -- loving, integrity, peace, joy and all the other qualities of goodness that I strive for. And the process of holding even my poor choices and flub-ups in loving takes all a lot of commitment!

Loving, forgiveness and upliftment to you,
Dr. Ilenya

Loving Your Success Tool: Setting Boundaries

Sometimes when we are caring for others, we simply forget to take care of ourselves. Loving yourself into success includes a heaping portion of taking care of yourself!

Earlier today I was emailing with a friend who is a beautiful and loving minister. She recently spent a whole day ministering to a dear friend of hers, physically assisting that person in many loving ways. And she commented that the next day she was so worn out she needed to rest and sleep much of the day. Her usual plans went by the board.

I emailed to her, "What did you learn after spending all day ministering to your friend and being totally wiped out the next day? I think maybe now it will be easier to set some limits/boundaries and take care of yourself."

And I threw in some suggestions for things she could say next time someone makes a request for her valuable time.

Like, "I'd love to come and assist and I can be there for about two hours, from this time to this time. Would that work for you?"

What if someone says, "Can't you stay all day like you did before?"

Have a list of three or four responses all planned to choose from -- to say "No," with loving and compassion for yourself as well as them.

For instance, "I'd love to but I find I'm needing to take better care of myself these days. I need to monitor my energy and be sure I'm only giving from my overflow."

Or "I've been getting loud and clear inner messages to take better care of myself and I need to watch carefully not to overtax my system, so unfortunately, I need to stick to shorter times of service these days."

Or "I'd love to but I have an important project to finish," etc.

My friend, the giving minister, wrote back saying my sample responses really helped. (I think she just needed a reminder that it's okay to take care of herself!) She said she'd been starting to "put up walls" as a defense, because she felt she had no boundaries, and she was needing to protect herself from giving too much for her own well-being.

About my sample responses, she said, "That frees it up inside to say, I can still do it, but with boundaries on it so I can take better care of myself."

I thought you might be inspired by this authentic moment from my day today, and you can easily apply similar responses in the places in your life where you've been depleting yourself. When you set some boundaries, you can truly take care of yourself and give from your overflow of energy and well-being.

Loving, peace and lots of success to you,
Dr. Ilenya

New Habits for Success

Hello!
Traveling is fun and it sure punched a hole in my blogging routine.

So this is time for me to comment on the process of creating new habits. My philosophy is to take small steps consistently. When you "fall out of stepping," you can simply start over, wherever you find yourself. So I'm starting over with blogging despite the almost three week gap.

If you want to create a new habit here are some simple steps to take:

1. Identify what you want to change.

2. Get an idea of what the new behavior would look like and feel like for you. What would you be telling yourself about your new behavior? What would others be saying or doing in response to your new approach?

3. Reflect on why you want this change. If you are not clear, you may not get very far. If you are trying to change because someone else is pressuring you, you may not get very far. So really consider if this is something you want for yourself.

4. If this change is not what you want for yourself, consider whether there is something else you want to work on that is truly your own heartfelt desire. Let the rest of these instructions apply to your deeper desire.

5. Look carefully at the behavior pattern you're trying to change. What triggers the old behavior? What are the clues that you are about to slide into the old behavior? Maybe it is being with a certain person or group of people. Maybe it is a certain interaction situation that leads to your feeling a certain way (stressed, bored, angry, frustrated, sad and hopeless, etc.). Maybe it is a specific sight, sound or smell (a tempting food smell, for instance.)

6. What could you do differently to interrupt the old automatic, undesirable habit pattern? If you want to eliminate debt and cut out frivolous credit card spending, can you freeze your card to make it hard to get? If you're working to lose weight, how can you make it difficult to get the tempting goodies that have been your downfall in the past?

If you lose your temper in certain situations, what can you do differently? Can you avoid the person or situation? Can you excuse yourself and walk away the minute you feel the anger beginning? Can you do some journal writing to delve into the reasons you feel such quick anger, and with the new awareness, have more choices and options for your behavior?

Now, you've identified what you want to change and some possible ways to stop engaging in the old undesirable behavior, you're ready to focus on your new habit pattern.

7. I recommend approaching your process with a lot of loving and kindness for yourself. Talk caringly and compassionately to yourself, as you might to a cherished small child. See yourself through eyes of loving. Changing a habit doesn't come easily for most of us. Will power has often fallen short of helping you obtain your goal. So try love power, compassion power to create your success this time.

8. Aim for small steps and congratulate yourself each time you are close to the mark as well as positive scores! In other words, let's say your you want to create a habit of going to the gym three times a week. If you put on your gym shoes and get out the door, but realize you have a conflict today, you still get some credit for starting out in your desired direction! That counts as a success when you are taking tiny steps. Then lovingly talk to yourself to clear the calendar at gym time and see if you can all the way there the next day!

9. Use your avoidance strategy to stay out of the old behavior. Keep your eyes on your goal with the new behavior. Put up reminders, such as a note by your bed, or on the refrigerator or bathroom mirror, or on the steering wheel.

10. Give yourself small rewards for small successes. I like tiny stickers on my calendar, or checking off items on a tracking list. You might like to put a dollar in a jar each time you do your new habit, and let it build up for a special treat in a few weeks.

11. Aim for at least 33 days of consistent application with your new habit. Different groups suggest different time frames, but I've found that doing a new habit for 33 days is about the right length of time to get it ingrained in you consciousness. If you fall of track for a few days, just start your count over again when you get back on track. But do get back on track, as lovingly as you can.

12. If you repeatedly fall off track, look for subconscious or unconscious patterns that push you into the undesired behavior. You might want to get short term help from a professional coach or counselor to help you hold yourself accountable and to deal with hidden button pushers.

Happy transformations,
Dr. Ilenya

Dr. Ilenya Marrin, DSS, MS, NCC
The Personal Peace Coach
Author of ebooks The Power of Personal Peace:
Reducing Stress by Loving Yourself from the Inside Out
and A Way of Loving Intention
http://www.powerofpersonalpeace.com
http://www.powerofpersonalpeace.com/info.html
802-658-2921

Loving Yourself Beyond Security and Control

Some days, it is very challenging to move forward
into your desired success! Today was one of those for me.
I am waiting on responses from a new business partner
and while I could do some things related to this project on
my own, I'm using the delay as an excuse to drag my heels.

I am not comfortable moving ahead until I get these answers.
I want security, please! Iwant each little item ticked off the
check list. I want to feel I am in control. And with this I have
to laugh.

I am surely not in control of much of anything except my
inner responses to the situations I encounter in life!
When I can remember this and just cooperate with what is
present, I feel so much lighter, so much more free inwardly.

Acknowledging these truths brought a shift in my awareness
just now. A knot of tension in my tummy dissolved. I'm not
in control! There is great freedom in this statement, especially
as I let it in as an awareness in my body consciousness.
Acknowledging this truth is a great step in loving myself.

I had no idea what to write about tonight in my blog. I just
showed up, feeling a bit frustrated and "low" about not getting
done some items I consider important. Yet when I take a look,
when I step back and view my situation as a neutral loving
observer, then I have to laugh. I only like to think I'm in control.
When I let go of that notion, it all gets really easy again. Just show up
and be present with what is. I actually got a lot of other tasks
done today, by being present with those action items.

So, I'm declaring this has been awonderful day after all. I'm
choosing to see it that way. I hope you find here some
bits ofwisdom and apply them with loving to your own life.

Blessings,
Dr. Ilenya

Loving Past the Roadblocks

Have you ever noticed that when you set out in a new direction
in life, with a challenging and exciting goal, you often run into
roadblocks right away?

I'm finding this to be the case with my internet marketing.
First, I have never thought of myself as very"techie."
Second, everything I do seems to require more steps
and more techie know-how than I anticipated. Third, the techie
stuff takes away from the creative time and the people connections
that I enjoy the most. It's become quite a juggling act!

So, my challenge is to utilize the tools I share with you -- to keep
loving myself into my success. It is tempting to give up, or to say
"I can't do this. It's too hard, it costs too much, etc." But that is
not the truth of who I am. I need to remember I can solve each
problem as it arises, and I can keep going in my chosen direction.

As I write these words, I do feel uplifted. The dynamic of loving
comes into play as we have compassion for our own process.
I need to be patient and kind with myself, even as I look for the way
over, under, around or through the next obstacle! I also need to
remember to laugh! Just thinking of laughing brings a smile to
my face and I feel brighter, more cheerful, more ready to tackle
whatever is next.

OK, I just cheered myself up. I encourage you to use
a similar approach in your life. Please take a moment to refocus and
reframe whatever is bugging you today. Give yourself the loving
and successful outlook that will help you to take your next steps
with more confidence and joy.

With Love and Light,
Dr. Ilenya